1. Kruse loves sailboats

2. Kruse loves caviar

3. Kruse puts chicken wings in his butt

4. Kruse + Skergie = Love

5. Kruse only uses the far right urinal

6. Every ball player wants to be like Mike... Kruse

7. Kruse can out bench Parkinson any day

8. Kruse should keep his head on a swivel

9. Kruse let the dogs out

10. Kruse has sex with dinosaurs

11. Kruse votes yes on gay marriage

12. Kruse gives rim jobs